How Not to Spend a Rainy Morning

Or Why Can't I Do Anything in a Straight Line?

Aside from my old lady bones hurting, I can tell that I need to take a break from knitting when I wear a notch into my right thumbnail from rubbing it against the needle to move my stitches. I don't know why something so simple and not that weird skeeves me out so badly, but it does,

I still have a pile of things to get done; despite making what feels like considerable progress I still don't seem to have anything much to show for it. I know I can't be the only one this happens to, right? Where you're chugging right along and feeling good and then you check your 'to-do' list and decide that you might as well be farting around on the Internet anyway if that's all you've managed to finish.

Substitute your procrastination tool of choice, obviously.

At any rate, I took the night (and by extension this morning because I keep vampire hours) off from the sticks and strings. But being incapable of sitting still I decided that it was probably time to make a sleeve for my iPad.

I busted out the fabric leftovers from making the Boyfriend's mom's Christmas present measured multiple times (proof I'm capable of learning), did some math and got to stitching. And here's what I have:




I know it doesn't look like the total waste of time and fabric that it was, but allow me to demonstrate:




That's as far in as I can wedge the pad. Awesome. And why, despite my measuring and math and whatnot did I manage to make this too small?

Let's zoom in on a clear example:




Yep. It appears as though straight lines and I still don't get along very well. I probably should have been able to see this coming from how misshapen then patchwork was looking while I was pressing the seams, but I powered through, hoping through magic and wishing it'd come together. Clearly it didn't.

While having a useless sack is sort of frustrating, at least I have this to comfort me:




Oh yeah, I'm set to try again once I undo the filing job I did to get rid of the creepy notch. Though I'm tempted to dive in now that I've got my sewing legs back under me and can stitch in a sort of straight line again. Or possibly do something sensible like wait until I can borrow Mater's machine.

Note to self: get the sewing machine living in your guest bedroom repaired, this is getting beyond ridiculous.

SNOMG

Ok, I feel as though I should put in a disclaimer here at the top. Despite it becoming a more regular occurrence*, I'm still floored by the fact that, yes, it will snow in central Texas.

And while today's showing wouldn't even register on the ''what is real snow' scale, I'm still thrilled at my snow day. Despite the fact that in order for it to actually be a snow day I'd have to be somewhere besides my butt dent on the couch. Ever.

Those of you from colder climes who are probably well and truly sick of winter are free to make fun of me for being perpetually five.

Look, it beats the pants off of weeks of hundred plus temperatures, ok? I'm used to those.



After being told it'd snow last night, first thing I did once the sun was up was take a peek out the back door.

Then I had the immediate need to go outside and play with it. Actually remembered to put on shoes and coat first, something I'm not always capable of managing when I have 'outside, yay!' urges,




This is what waited right outside the front door. It actually crunched when I walked on it. Hee!




The bushes by the door look downright edible now. I know intellectually snow is not frosting but when the only time you're ever really exposed to it is on gingerbread houses you get ideas.










Panoramic view of the neighborhood. All snowy and awesome.

It soon became clear that I hadn't shut the door properly behind me when Junior came running out, happy for freedom after being kept Inside for the last few days. Only to skid to a stop and throw me a rather accusing look because outside had gone all funny:









He had a few minutes of fun before I dragged us both inside because brrrrr!

Didn't stop him from protesting though.

My niece apparently has grand plans for today that seem to involve all of going of to the grandparents' house to stand in a circle and throw snowballs at each other. I imagine she'll get the hang of snowball fights eventually.

*Usually in February and usually after a few weeks of 'oh jesus it's hot' weather.

Finishing

I've got a list a mile long of things that need to be knit for people which shouldn't be much of a problem (especially as they are trading me money for my time and that always thrills the little bit that's left of my capitalist pig-dog heart) but I just can't seem to finish anything.

It started with this monkey:



But then I decided that I didn't much care for him. I knew I could do better, so I've put him aside for awhile and fully intend on going back to try and fix his proportions and give him ears and a tail and his very important scarf and hat.

So, since Monkey Mark I was a failure, I started another:




Obviously he's not much to look at right now and still needs quite a few things before I can call him done. Unfortunately I forgot to put in the safety eyes before finishing off his body so I get to have fun trying my hand at embroidery again. Let's just say that there's a reason why I love those little bits of plastic so much.

But before any of that could happen something shocking occurred. Mater needed me to take over a project for her. A set of what I rather inappropriately call 'nub caps' for a coworker whose legs were amputated at the knee. As they we're promised to her a while ago, they replaced then monkeys at then top of my queue.




Despite that, it's clear I haven't made much progress on them. But I will say that I have progressed as a knitter because of them - I have finally jumped on board with gauge swatching for every damn project. I know, I know. It's about time. All i can say is that if I have to start these things one more time my brain will start leaking out of my ears.

Overcoming my natural inclination to do things by the seat of my pants is a huge step for me. And for the cats who have a tendency to be in the way whenever I chuck a project across the room in a fit of pique. I don't know how they manage it but they always do. It's like their super power.

In other news, my 'resolution' to blog more is proving to be difficult. Both because of laziness, a lack of doing anything remotely interesting ever and some technological hangups. I've switched to using an iPad as my primary 'computer' and while it is perfect for my needs in a lot of ways, I really do miss my keyboard. I suppose I could try and be less wordy but really. Lets not kid ourselves.

Illustration Friday - Chicken

Tyrannogallus Rex, King of the Chickens.

Well, they do look like dinosaurs.

Making Plans

Every year I buy a planner/date book/ diary/ agenda/ what have you and compulsively mark everyone's birthdays with stickers, make up elaborate color codes and all sorts of nerdy nonsense in a desperate bid to be the least bit organized.  And when I remember to a) have my date book with me at all times so that I can actually write in it and b) remember to check it, at all, ever it's a very useful thing.  But neither a nor b happens on the regular.  No one is shocked.

Apparently what I needed to do was write down in last years planner to buy a new one for this year.  At least then I'd have a chance of remembering before the pickings got slim.  Something tells me it's wrong to for a voting adult to have a Justin Bieber Homework Planner.*  And I definitely need one, even if I'm not the best at using it.  If only for hair cut appointments.  Speaking of Bieber, these bangs are out of control.  It's ok, I wasn't too attached to seeing or anything, but I seem to be doing my best to grow a femmullet and that is very much not ok.  Curly hair doesn't lend itself to DIY haircuts, but I'm about to give it a go anyway.

No matter how stupid it looks, it's better than a mullet.

Back to the point: planners!  I have had a nutty but possibly brilliant idea.  I have a spare pocket sized note book.  I have a ruler.  Onward, to making my own date book.  Maybe.  Because while making my own would spare me the embarrassment of pulling out my Team Jacob ♥ planner in front of other people, this may be a project too anal retentive even for me.

Thus far I've made it mostly through most of March without setting it on fire out of boredom and frustration.  Though I have killed a pen.  To be fair, it was probably on it's last legs, but still.  At any rate, the exciting bits aren't the lines and my awful printing.  No, the exciting bits are that at the beginning of each month I've done a doodle.  Well, so far I just have January:

I have decided that if I can manage to finish it this year (April will have to wait until I find a replacement pen.  I know I have another package around here somewhere.) that next year I ought to use a sturdier notebook.  Because the paper in this one is so thin media choice is pretty limited.

I'll be sure to pencil that in toward the end of December.  Or at least on one of the blank pages after March.

*A Justin Timberlake Homework Planner on the other hand.... I can't pretend that I wouldn't spend good money on that because heeeee.

Oh Dear

The holiday season was much crazier than I anticipated.  It ended up being an almost entirely hand made Christmas on my end, which ate way more of my time than I thought it would.  Thus, I fell out of the blogging habit.  So, not dead, just forgot how to internet.

But, new year, new start, or something.  Yay?

First things first:  Christmas card swap.  Here's my totally awesome card that I really should have posted about as soon as I received it from Sarah.  Thank you so much!

Front!

Inside!

And then on the back she included the first verse of a German carol along with the translation.  Again: totally awesome.

Here's a few of the things that have been keeping me busy.  Not all, because I'm relying on the cell phone for photos at the moment.

Here's the tote bag I sort of made for the Boyfriend's mother.  I say sort of made because I cut out the pieces, got grumpy, toodled off to raid my parents' kitchen (which was as delicious and de-grumpifying as always) and when I'd stuffed myself stupid returned to the dining room to find my mom had pretty much made it.  So, 'sort of' is a bit of a stretch - it'd be more accurate to say I had an idea and then didn't end up having to do any of the work myself.  Except the running upstairs to do the ironing which I don't think really counts at all.  Thanks Mater, you're the best!

I also decorated a friend's school bag.  Which was one of those things where I could see what I wanted in my head but had difficulty actually making it happen.  This isn't the completed bag, but an in progress photo.  The finished bag had some rather blobby starfish-like flowers because the white paint pen kept not working, then changing it's mind and exploding.  We covered them up with some cute little buttons though, so I don't think she was too disappointed.

But the majority of the winter time crafting was spent on hats.  So many hats.  I don't know if I'm going to be able to even think about making another hat for a while.  I think the total count was nine, eight to be given away and then one for me, because I decided that I needed a hat too, to prevent me from stealing the ones meant for gifts.  I'm a little overdue for a hair cut and frankly slapping a hat on is way easier than spending several hours trying to convince my hair to stop acting like a Rorschach blob.

I would like to say that I made Mater's gift all by myself.  She never once saved me from my own ineptitude, yay!  Though she did seem pretty amused about the fact that the internet would know Mater's face since I had to show it off.  Pattern is Atarimae Beret (Ravelry link).

And here's the hat I made for Pater, since he was coveting my chullo.  Not pictured is the long bow that Mater gave him for Christmas, which if I had been thinking would've been the greatest illustration of our usual Christmas time ever.

There were more hats, obviously, but I don't currently have pictures of them.  But I will bother the recipients to let me take photos of them for great justice the blog.

There.  That's me back from the dead.  Maybe this is the year I can learn to stop being quite so useless about self imposed commitments.  Probably not though.

Linoleum - Not Just For Floors

I had initially thought that I'd do a water color painting for the one holiday card that I'm sure to send (thanks again to Susie at Useless Beauty Designs for hosting the swap!) but I made the mistake of telling people that I'd be making this card for my swap partner.

And now other people want one.  People that like to think that I care about them and think that a small little something in the mail would be such a lovely way of expressing that, don't you think, and really if you're already making one....

Crap.

The thing is, despite my whining, I would very much like to be the with-it, have my stuff together sort of adult who can manage to send out a few holiday cards.  After all, these people are my friends and I really do like them, and enjoy making things for them.  It really shouldn't be such a burden.  And yet every year I put it off again and again until I realize that it's January and hey, maybe I should make a resolution of it.  Not that I ever keep the rest of them.*

This year I'm determined.  I will make holiday cards, I will send them out before the end of December and I will be a with-it, have my stuff together sort of adult.  In this one aspect, at least.

But I'm certainly not doing an individual painting on each of them, because if being an adult means giving up on being completely lazy then I want no part of it.

Having prints done would be the obvious solution, but that's one more step between making the cards and sending the cards which ups the chances that I'll be sitting here January 3rd, look over and see the painting and then hit my head repeatedly on the table for once again being a failure.  As this would likely cause brain damage and I really don't need that I've opted to go the linoleum print route.  Print making in the comfort of my stretch pants!  I really couldn't ask for anything better.

Of course, I haven't done linoleum carving in about ten years but really.  It's like riding a bike, I'm sure.**

Firstly, the image.  For this one, I chose a simple armadillo motif and copied him (a wee bit smaller) onto a piece of paper.  Through the magic of technology you can of course re-size your chosen image (if you're not winging it) as you see fit but again with the lazy, so I didn't.

Armadillo!

I feel I should point out that he is rather tiny and not for the cards so much as an attempt to remember how the hell this works.

Onward.  I've gone over my pencil lines to make sure they're nice and dark so that they'll transfer.  Image goes onto the linoleum block and with a good rub there should now be an armadillo on the block.  Now, I've never been able to have a nice clean transfer though I hear some people can manage it.  But even if it comes out like this:

A little less armadillo-y.

Never fear.  Filling in the gaps is quick work.

Much better.

And now the carving.  I usually do the big bits, then come in with my smallest blade to do the detail work. Also, slowly and gently, cutting away a little bit at a time because like with a lot of things taking away is easier than adding.  Since I want the background white here, I spent an extra bit of time with the largest blade cutting away the block until the background was well below the central image.

Not pictured: the fit I had when I nicked his ear.

Note to self: dots are way harder than you remembered.  Should probably avoid those in the future.

And now I give it a test run.  Ink up the brayer (thinner is better, here.  Gloopy brayers are no one's friend) and give it a roll onto the carving.  I've never been good at placing the paper down on the block, so I cheat and put the block onto the paper and flip it over.  This has ended badly before, but it didn't this time so I think I'll continue with my bad habits.

This time around, since Mr. Armadillo is about an inch and a half square and I was using a spare bit of rice paper for extra absorbency I was able to get away with just using my thumb to rub the paper onto the block.  Sometimes this will work, most of the time it won't.  There's a fancy tool for this called a baren, but I usually use the bottom of a glass.  Fancy tools are for sissies!  Or possibly professionals. 

Lift up the paper to check it out:

Two!  Two armadillos, ahahaha.

Some of the detail work was lost (spots!  Damn you for being difficult) and I missed a few ridges on the back ground.  So, the stamp gets rinsed off, and I get back to carving.

Round two:

Spots, why you gotta hate?

He could be better, but for a first run I think I'm satisfied.  I've learned my lesson about spots and I think when I'm working on a larger scale it'll be a little easier.  At the very least I'll worry less about slipping with the cutter and taking a gouge of finger instead of linoleum.  Of course now that I've said that....

*  'Become coy sex kitten' has been on the top of my resolution list for about 7 years now.  Mater, don't make that face, it really means cut back on the excessive flailing and not talk at length about Doctor Who at fancy grown-up parties.  Possibly learn ballroom dance and brush my hair on a regular basis.

**  I've never managed to learn how to ride a bike, all attempts have ended in tragedy and bodily harm.  So, I rather hope it's not anything like that.